In the Desperation (Find You Book 1) Read online

I didn’t remember where Uncle Harold’s house was located. I knew it was close, but I didn’t know how close. I thought that I was supposed to take the next turn off after the one to our road, but what if I was wrong? It could easily have been the turn after that one. That didn’t even touch the idea that we had been away for years; roads change, people move.

  What if I went to the wrong house?

  Showing up naked to your long lost family’s house is an embarrassment, but it’s something that can be explained.

  Showing up naked to a complete stranger’s house is something that might get you shot.

  That didn’t even touch the dangerous situation I was in with the car. A wolf can run nearly forty miles an hour. Going more than that on highways and cleared roads would be just fine. Out there, where the roads didn’t get cleared very often, and the visibility was low? I could just as easily wreck the Jeep as make it to Uncle Harold’s.

  I took the first turn off. Like our road, the snow was covering the asphalt and the path was hard to delineate. I kept going. Two miles. Three.

  When I looked behind me, I couldn’t see any sign of the shifters following me. It was a relief… but it didn’t mean they were gone for good. This was all pack lands and it didn’t take a genius to guess that I’d be heading for the alpha. They could have taken a more direct path.

  In my distraction, I nearly missed the driveway. The Jeep skidded a little bit as I made the sharp turn. Seeing the house through the pine trees was enough to have me breathing a sigh of relief.

  I was safe.

  There was the giant carving of a brown bear, a gift from one of the packs up in Alaska. The house with it’s red door and it’s covered porch, the peaks of the row of greenhouses just barely visible beyond.

  I let out a deep breath as I braked to a stop in front of the house.

  There wasn’t any time to get my clothes on, though.

  The door opened before I could finish reaching for my shirt, and a tall blonde woman dressed in purple plaid and toting a shotgun stepped out onto the porch.

  Wow. Time changes everyone. Moon knew that I had changed - I wasn’t a pimply faced omega kid any longer. But my cousin Sara had always been mild and meek-mannered; seeing her standing there like a fierce goddess of vengeance was the first inkling I had that my situation wasn’t going to be fixed with a quick word and a wave of Uncle Harold’s hand.

  “What do you want this time?” Sara shouted from the porch.

  She looked like she meant business with that shotgun. I desperately wanted to put my clothes back on, but instead I raised my hands from the wheel, keeping them in her line of sight.

  “It’s me, Sara,” I called out. “Jay Barnes, your cousin.”

  She took a step off the porch, looking intently. I couldn’t help but flush under her examination; this wasn’t the sort of welcome I’d been planning on. “I ran into some trouble,” I said, thankful for wolf hearing. We could mute our senses so they didn’t overwhelm us, but I knew that right now hers were completely fixed on my car. And really, it wasn’t great manners to shout if you didn’t have to in order to be heard. “Think I can come in?”

  She seemed to make up her mind, sighing as she lowered the gun. “Get in here,” she said, her face breaking out into a grin for the first time.

  I found myself mirroring her expression. Despite the helter skelter dash through the snow and the sudden assault of finding some assholes taking over my house, I couldn’t help but be pleased to see her.

  It really had been far too long.

  Sara wasn’t alone in the house; her younger sister Riley was also at home. Both of them were kind enough to let me throw my clothes on and hurry my bags into the house before they started with the questions.

  I threw one last long look over my shoulder before I closed the door snugly behind me, flipping the deadbolt shut.

  Sara raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing you went to your Mam’s house first, then,” she said.

  “Uh… yeah,” I said. “What’s going on? Who are those people? I know your dad has to have a good reason for letting them stay around, but I really hope it’s temporary - and not just because I want my house back.”

  Their faces fell. Sara flinched. I looked between the two of them, wary.

  “Actually,” Riley said, and handed over a mug of hot cocoa, “our father’s passed.”

  “What?” I said, startled, and hissed at the splash of chocolate that landed against my bare skin. “I’m so sorry… Dad and I didn’t know, or we’d have come.”

  Sara’s words were light, but it didn’t take a genius to realize that her meaning was heavy. “That’s alright,” she said. “It was kept quiet outside of the territory.”

  I had a terrible suspicion forming in the back of my mind. “Those men squatting in my house…”

  Riley nodded over to the couch. “Let’s sit,” she said, and then she too took another long glance out the window before turning toward the living room.

  “Who did it?” I asked as soon as we had settled. That he’d died of natural causes never even crossed my mind.

  “David’s son,” Sara said. “Lenny. Do you remember him? He’s Bran’s age.”

  Bran was Sara and Riley’s brother. He was about six years older than me and Sara and I had given him hell when he’d been forced to babysit.

  But yeah, I remembered Lenny. I nodded. He was the kind of alpha that gave all alphas a bad name. He came sniffing around after me once before we left, and Dad had run his ass completely out of the territory for his impudence. “We used to joke that he’d turn lone wolf and go crazy up in Canada or something.”

  “Yeah, well…” Sara said. “He did.”

  “He challenged Uncle Harold?”

  Riley nodded. “Yeah. A little less than a month ago. He’d brought back goons with him from some pack up north, and he fought dirty. Dad lingered for a few days, but…”

  I swallowed. “I’m so sorry,” I said, and I meant it. It takes a lot to put a wolf out of commission. We can heal from a hell of a lot of injuries, and we’re all but invulnerable to viruses and colds. Just knowing that Uncle Harold hadn’t been able to heal or to die right away from the challenge fight put the sheer brutality they must have used into perspective. “What about your brother? Or the other alphas? I know Dad and I have been out of the loop, but you still hear things on the grapevine. I thought we were pretty strong.”

  “We, is it?” Sara raised an eyebrow, but there wasn’t any heat in her voice. Still, I felt the sting. But she continued. “They’re off on a trip. Pack politics. We’ve been a strong, peaceful back for years… aside from some minor hurts and grievances, we haven’t had any sort of territory disputes for over twenty years.” Her voice wavered a bit. “Dad was really proud of that.”

  “I was proud of him,” I said softly. “He was well spoken of, even so far away.”

  “Yes, well.” Sara blinked furiously. “They aren’t due to come back for another three weeks. Not everyone went, of course - but it’s mostly the omegas who’ve stayed, along with the children and the elders. Riley and I are strong and we can be vicious, but we aren’t fighters. There’s a handful of alphas here, but Lenny’s followers have us all pretty well spooked - they’ve threatened the pups.”

  I gasped. That was low, even for someone who would cheat their way to the position of pack alpha. It simply wasn’t done. Knowing that, once word got out beyond the territory, it was only a matter of time before other local packs would show up to help us re-establish stability.

  Of course, until then…

  I’d managed to pick the worst possible time to come home - but once I thought it, I immediately felt guilty. Sure, I really didn’t want to be stuck in this… but it’s not like I wanted my cousins to have to deal with this mess, either.

  “There might still be time to get you out, though,” Riley said. “Your scent doesn’t immediately place you as a member of the pack; you might be able to slip out of the territory before everyone else
realizes you’re here.”

  “What about you?” I asked. “Couldn’t you come with me? Surely the local packs - ”

  Sara shook her head. “This is my home,” she said. “I’m not being driven out of it. We just have to get through the - ”

  Riley caught Sara’s eye and shook her head, and Sara cut off abruptly.

  I tried not to be annoyed, but I liked the idea of their hiding things even less. Still, they were right - I was in that quasi-area between pack and not-pack, and I didn’t have any right to come in demanding very much at all.

  “We’re not leaving,” Sara said firmly. “And part of that has to do with the threats they made to the children. But you could still make it out, if you wanted to try.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that. “They’ve seen the Jeep and they’ve got my scent now,” I said. “They startled me trying to find out whether or not the house was still standing, and chased me back to my car… and then they chased the car halfway to your place.”

  “Well, shit,” Riley said with feeling. “I was hoping that you’d managed to see them without their seeing you.” She paused. “Honestly? Some of the wolves Lenny brought back with him are green as fuck, they just happen to be big, burly alphas who like to intimidate people. But those two? Ellis Jessup and that guy Brett who hangs around him? I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t planning to let Lenny do the dirty work and then kill him to take the pack from him later on. They’re real nasty pieces of work. ”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I barely met them, but that wouldn’t surprise me.”

  Thump. Shuffle. Gwuf.

  The sound of footsteps outside the house had all three of us going stiff-backed and alert. When the heavy sound of a man’s fist striking the door echoed through the room, it was all I could do to restrain my shift.

  We were definitely in trouble.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Sara was the first one to get up. “Coming!” she called out, but never actually took a step toward the door. We looked amongst ourselves.

  Would it be better to just open the door and get it over with?

  Out of the three of us, Riley was the one who pressed forward, grim determination flattening her lips and furrowing her brow. She hauled the door open and scowled. “What do you want?”

  There were three men on the doorstep. The two men I’d run into near the cottage… and cousin Lenny. I could see them thanks to clever angles and the wall mounted mirror. They couldn’t see me or Sara, though.

  “We heard there was a lost omega roaming the territory,” Lenny said smoothly. “We wondered if you might have seen him come this way.”

  Sara rolled her eyes. My car was out front. Any idiot would know that I ‘came this way’ - but at least they were trying diplomacy first?

  “No,” Riley said shortly, and despite herself, Sara barely suppressed a giggle. “There’s no one lost here.”

  “Then whose car is out front?” Lenny demanded, impatient.

  “I’m ashamed of you, alpha,” Riley said mockingly. “I thought alphas were supposed to recognize things like that.”

  Lenny took a step forward, crowding her. I started to move toward the door myself, to intercept, but Sara stopped me with a hand on my arm and a shake of her head. I got the message. Riley could handle herself.

  “You’re trying my patience, omega,” Lenny growled, and Riley sighed, exasperated.

  “I’m your cousin, Lenny,” she said. “You could at least call me by my name if you’re trying to bully your way into my house.”

  “I am your alpha and you will answer me!” Lenny roared.

  “That would be your other cousin,” Riley said, but when Lenny showed no signs of calming down, she quickly added, “Jay! Cousin Jay came back home, but your goons here ran him off his own property!”

  Lenny appeared mollified, but this time when he pressed in closer, Riley stood back, allowing him entrance to the house.

  “Jay,” Lenny said when he rounded the corner. He leered at me. “My my, haven’t you turned into a looker.”

  “I’m engaged,” I said stiffly, willing myself to believe the lie. If I believed what I was saying, there was less chance that they’d call me on it.

  Lenny stepped in closer, taking in my scent. “I think someone is lying,” he said lightly, and blatantly scent marked me by rubbing his hand down the side of my face. “Because the only alpha scent I smell on you… is mine.”

  I racked my mind for a solution. Lenny gave me the creeps. I wanted to let my wolf out - to run, or even to fight - but I thought I still knew the girls well enough to know that if that were an option, they would have done it already. I didn’t know the complete nature of the threats Lenny had used to ensure their compliance, but even as Riley had needled him, the scent of fear bled off her in waves.

  That left bluffing.

  “Have you ever met Gregori?” I asked. “Alpha of the Pine Barrens?” I stood up straighter. “He won’t like to hear that you’ve been harassing his chosen omega, who just wanted to see his mother’s home one last time before the ceremony.”

  Lenny took a half step back. I fought to control my rising triumph, certain my ploy was working.

  The beauty of it was that I’d actually met Gregori. He’d been my first fumble behind the schoolhouse, as it were. We’d never done anything more than exchange hand jobs before we decided we were better off as bros, but I knew that he’d back me up if word of this ever reached him.

  Which it probably wouldn’t. The Pine Barrens pack was both notoriously territorial - born fighters, the lot of them - and notoriously reclusive. Plus they were on the other side of the country.

  I could see the waver in Lenny’s emotions, before a glance back at his followers had his eyes hardening again. “That might be so,” he said, “but I’m the only pack alpha here right now. And my second has taken an interest in you. I’d hate to deny him the… pleasure of taming such a brat like you.”

  The one called Ellis stepped forward, his beady eyes fixed on my face.

  Well, shit. I could feel my heartbeat loud in my chest; I’d no doubt the rest of the room could hear it too, tuned in as they were to what was going on.

  The feral side of my nature was itching to take over; at any minute I’d start sprouting fur and claws whether I wanted to or not. Holding back my shift around threatening humans was one thing. I’d managed to do that even while getting mugged. Holding back my shift around wolves that were threatening me was something else entirely.

  But Sara stepped up to the plate, distracting everyone when she took my arm and tugged me back towards her.

  “Lenny, you don’t really want trouble with Pine Barrens, do you?” she asked. “That sort of thing ripples out, you know. I may not like you here, but I don’t want our territory taken over by anyone else, either.”

  Lenny regarded her suspiciously. “Get to your point.”

  “Let him Run,” she said smoothly. “You’ve already announced your intention to hold an omega run. If he participates, no one can say that you did anything untoward. They’ll think it’s his fault. No retaliation.”

  I blinked in surprise. An omega run? Really?

  “Hmm.”

  The room held its collective breath, until at last Lenny nodded. “That’s true,” he said. “Fine. You’ve got your wish.” He turned back to Ellis. “Don’t touch him until the Run,” he told him. “But then you can do whatever you want to him.” Lenny reached out to me in a mockery of a gentle gesture, claws out as he lifted my chin. “Wreck his pretty hole and fill him so full of pups he’ll never even think about Pine Barrens again.”

  We strained our senses until we were certain they’d left the vicinity, and then some more. Finally, we collapsed on the couch in a puppy pile, taking comfort from each other’s closeness.

  Looked like I was in this now, whether I wanted to be or not.

  “Are you sure we can’t take them?” I rushed out. “We’re omegas, not humans. Surely if we banded together we cou
ld - ”

  But Sara shook her head. “We’ve tried that, Jay,” she said patiently. “And they killed Marley. She wasn’t even fighting. It was just retaliation.”

  I was stunned. Marley had been old when I was a pup. She’d been crotchety and rheumy-eyed, but she was like… an institution. She’d been the best storyteller once you had her going, and more importantly - she couldn’t fight back. There was no way under the Moon that she’d suddenly gotten more strength and energy as she’d aged. What they were telling me was that Lenny had murdered an elder in cold blood.

  “They have the mothers with the younger children holed up in the pack lodge,” Riley said softly. “Under guard. It’s not a matter of finding a scattered pack. They know where all of us are.” She picked up the phone set for the landline. It was dead. “They’ve cut the phone lines. You know as well as I do that cell phone coverage is patchy in this area. I want to fight.” Her gaze hardened. “Trust me, I do. But I won’t risk the future of our pack to do it. Not until I know that our alphas and reinforcements are here to make it a fair fight.”